McKinley Park is a small pastoral oasis in the heart of big-city Chicago.
Since
2013, I've walked the pathways in an attempt to stay healthy by keeping
in motion. At first, it was just exercise, a sort of personal
competition, how far can I walk, how fast can I do it? I started
monitoring my progress.
Eventually,
I added music to the experience which made it more enjoyable. Music allows me to relive moments from my life when these songs were meaningful. Memories are subtle but stubborn things.
Now
my walks are a personal refuge, a gift, a cherished ritual where I can
simply absorb nature and movement and awareness. I see other folks doing
their own thing. I've met lots of dogs and their owners. Most people, I
know by sight yet we haven't spoken. I never imagined that just smiling
and nodding to someone could be such pleasant communication. It's a
real treat to share this planet, this park with other beings.
"There are more atoms in a teaspoon of water than teaspoons of water in the Atlantic Ocean."
Whoa!!! My mind was blown! Can that be right? I better verify this independently because we can't allow erroneous information up on the internet, can we?
I started to walk and developed a verification plan. It seemed pretty straight forward. I'd have to find out how big is an atom, how big is a teaspoon, and how big is the Atlantic Ocean. Knowing that, a few basic math calculations and Voila!! Mission accomplished. I completed my walk and went home.
Except....
Crap, there are no exact defining parameters of the oceans, no boundaries, no complete topographical surveys of the ocean floor. At shoreline we can use mean tide as the reference, but everywhere else it can only be approximated. That lowers our precision big time!
Not only that, but given there are weather fluctuations, rain, evaporation, humidity, it's all water, do we include those atoms in our calculations? Exactly what IS the Atlantic Ocean? This is starting to piss me off!
OK, I realized I may have cut class that day so... I googled it!
Citing the law of exponents, 10 to the 23rd power is waaaaaaaay bigger than 10 to the 22nd power. I'm talking HUMONGOUSLY MUCH BIGGER. So the tweet was verified, Mission Accomplished.
Lesson learned today is there is so much to ponder in this Universe, how will I ever get to it all?
Mr. Harper is someone I met at a veteran's support group a few years back. He's a distinguished looking gentleman, tall, lean, and calm. I must write a few words about him and what he has given me. He's elderly but doesn't look it. He is always connected to an oxygen tank and walks aided by a walker, but he moves about gracefully. When he sits down, he sits straight up. He never offers an opinion unless asked. He listens to the other members of the group and doesn't interrupt anyone. When it is his turn to speak, he is brief and to the point. From some of his comments, I surmise he was a "playa" back-in-the-day. But as I understand it, once a "playa" always a "playa." If he shares about his infirmities, it's not a complaint, just statement of fact. He adores his grandson. He jokes around easily but never mean-spirited. He's lighthearted and serious at the same time. THAT is the elegance of his personality. His name is John, I call him Mr. Harper.
I'm only around him one hour at a time if he shows up that week. That is all that was required for him to have an impact on my consciousness. I've come to admire his manner and respect his attitude. He's just a damn cool dude!
I aspire to.....and will one day attain.... "Mr. Harper's Level of Chill"
Every once in a while a piece of music stops me dead in my tracks. This was one of them. Chris Botti and Lucia Micarelli collaborate to perform a composition by Michel Columbier, "Emmanuel."
This live performance in Boston is no longer available on YouTube
This live performance in Georgia added for visual elegance
What struck me most was the quiet intensity. The piece is a simple melodic theme with improvisations on that theme by two world class musicians at the top of their game. Both bring a unique sound that blend together beautifully. There is a sensuousness and longing expressed back and forth, and for a brief period, both are playing simultaneously. This is artistic communication of the highest order.
The musical arrangement for the orchestra was always subtle and in the background. The improvisations seem effortless and each solo complements and extends the other's.
The beauty of music is that words cannot adequately describe the sensations I get while listening. With eyes closed, I visualize the notes wafting in space, intertwining, moving freely around each other. There is passion and drama in each dynamic flourish, and when soft, this music is mesmerizing, almost sublime.
Everyone involved in this performance, the artists, technicians, and audience contributed to this experience. I'm so grateful that human beings can express their many talents for our benefit.
Sometimes I sit down at the computer and determine what subject to broach. When there is nothing obvious to write about, I have to make space by cleaning out my mental clutter. It is a process of elimination, just let stuff go, dissolve, disappear into the ether. What happened today in politics?.... let it go What joys or regrets do you have?... let them go What childhood memories make you happy or sad? ...let them go Who have you loved, who has loved you? ... let it go What are your dreams and what are your nightmares? ... let them go How is your physical body treating you? ... let it go What do you want, what do you need? ... let that go Is life worth living? ... let that go What does God have to say about it? ... let it go
I continue the process of elimination like peeling back layers of onion skin. It's hard work because there are LOTS of layers to my human condition. Eventually, everything I've ever done, thought, experienced is set aside. No personal history, or future, or desires, or fears, and nothing physical, emotional, or tangible remain. That's my "still-point" state. A centered consciousness, an empty vessel, an open mind that accepts inspiration. I've found that state hard to get to, and even harder to maintain. As a typical human, I will always disturb my "still point" and must start the process all over again. This can be frustrating... and I let that go
In the end, it doesn't always work. I still may have nothing to write about.
I started out with nothing on my mind as usual when I saw this front porch...
About five years ago there was an elderly man who would sit on this porch in his chair and look at the park across the street. I would see him regularly and here's why I remember him.
The first time I passed him I smiled and said "Good Morning!" He didn't answer, he just looked at me so I kept walking. The next day the same thing happened, again no response. After that I just silently smiled at him until eventually I stopped making eye contact. All that time I thought to myself "Who the fuck can resist my sparkling personality!?"
Starting last year I didn't see him there anymore. For three straight years we shared no personal interaction. I like to think he must have had a stroke or advancing Alzheimer and maybe he couldn't recognize me. I'm going with that explanation.
Maybe he moved, maybe he died, who knows? But funny thing, I kinda miss the guy. I kept walking and came upon this sight...A whole bunch of wildflowers all over the place!
If a bee is zipping along and sees this, what is he going to think?
"So many flowers! So little time!" ...would be my guess.
Or maybe a butterfly with untreated ADHD is similarly startled. He'd think "Whoa, where do I start? Should I make a grid? Purple or yellow flowers, which is better? I wonder what is on the other side. There must be hundreds - no THOUSANDS - of petals here! Where is this? I gotta remember. Oh shit, there's just too many!!"
I suspect a few little butterfly brains have exploded around here.
But I had no time to investigate, I had to complete my walk, so I did.
When I walk in the park, I have my headphones, listening to music. Usually I'm thinking about other things and the songs serve merely as background. However every once in a while a song captures my attention and I focus on it. This was one of those times.
This particular song was written by Glenn Frey with co-writing credits to Don Henley. They performed it with their band “The Eagles” in 1975. They won a Grammy for it. But that's not important. This song was conceived and executed well.
IMHO, this is one of the best pop songs ever written and I'll tell you why. The song presents a universal narrative about wealthy older men and their oftentimes much younger female companions. Both in substance and structure, it sets the scene, tells the story, and makes a statement. More than that, the performance of this song melds exquisite harmonies with simple orchestration and tasty guitar fills.
I'll attempt to explain what I hear...
My comments in RED
Instrumental intro, then Glenn Frey in a one-voice exposition sets the scene.
City girls just seem to find out early.....How to open doors with just a smile A rich old man she won't have to worry.....She'll dress up all in lace and go in style
The scene develops, more exposition describing her attitude toward a loveless relationship Late at night a big old house gets lonely.....I guess every form of refuge has its price And it breaks her heart to think her love is only.....given to a man with hands as cold as ice
The story proceeds, Don Henley voice joins in tight harmony, voices match in timbre and volume So she tells him she must go out for the evening.....comfort an old friend who's feelin' down But he knows where she's goin' as she's leavin'.....She is headed for the cheatin' side of town
The chorus in rich four part harmony delivers the song's theme You can't hide your lyin' eyes.....And your smile is a thin disguise I thought by now you'd realize.....There ain't no way to hide your lyin eyes
Back to single Glenn Frey voice, with the plot thickening, revealing her emotional state On the other side of town a boy is waiting.....with fiery eyes and dreams no one could steal She drives on through the night anticipating.....'Cause he makes her feel the way she used to feel
Rather than violins, cellos, and horns, human voices provide background orchestration as the story continues She rushes to his arms, they fall together.....She whispers that it's only for awhile
Now Henley's harmony joins the vocal orchestration to give us The Eagles' signature sound and the story gets to its unfortunate but predictable conclusion She swears that soon she'll be comin' back forever.....She pulls away and leaves him with a smile
The Chorus reinforces the basic theme You can't hide your lyin' eyes.....And your smile is a thin disguise I thought by now you'd realize.....There ain't no way to hide your lyin' eyes
Back to original voice providing a visual description of her disconsolate situation She gets up and pours herself a strong one.....And stares out at the stars up in the sky Another night, it's gonna be a long one.....She draws the shade and hangs her head to cry
Adding vocal orchestration, building the sound, she acknowledges confusion but must submit to the truth She wonders how it ever got this crazy.....She thinks about a boy she knew in school Did she get tired or did she just get lazy?.....She's so far gone she feels just like a fool
Now all elements come together, the two part harmony, vocal orchestration, guitar flourishes, for the nagging acceptance that our choices determine our fate. May be the whole point of the song My, oh my, you sure know how to arrange things.....You set it up so well, so carefully Ain't it funny how your new life didn't change things....You're still the same old girl you used to be
Final chorus for emphasis You can't hide your lyin eyes.....And your smile is a thin disguise I thought by now you'd realize.....There ain't no way to hide your lyin' eyes
There ain't no way to hide your lyin' eyes.....Honey, you can't hide your lyin' eyes
Final instrumental fill to the end.
That's what I thought about on my walk. Nothing earth shattering but the realization that I'm so grateful for the Eagles' artistic creativity that can communicate part of the human condition with such intimate clarity.
A while ago, I was doing my usual walk routine in McKinley Park. I came across this scene and wondered "What's going on?" I interrupted my walk which NEVER happens and one of these folks told me Yo Yo Ma was doing a surprise "pop-up" performance.
Well hell, that's cool, I'll stick around for that. The anticipation was building.
After I waited 20 minutes he shows up accompanied by his pianist, some high school kid. Imagine putting THAT on your musical resume! "Yeah, I played with Yo Yo Ma!"
They started playing John Lennon's song "Imagine." At first the pianist was showing off his stuff very nicely, a tasteful rendition of the song with Yo Yo Ma accompanying him in the background. Then they reversed roles and Yo Yo played the melody. It was transcendent, I got goose bumps, he was that sensitively expressive.
At the end of the song, he introduced the pianist and his parents to loud applause. And then Yo Yo Ma's assistant took his cello and they began departing.
My immediate reaction was "HEY WAIT!! WTF! One goddamn song? That's bullshit!"
Then I caught myself.
Life had given me me a totally unexpected gift. The music touched me to my core and I shared this moment with other humans whom I will never meet. It was a beautiful thing and rather than being grateful, my first reaction was I WANT MORE!!! Apparently Yo Yo Ma was doing six of these performances around the city, hence the time constraints. How cool is that? This is a sad realization: It is so easy for me to be an asshole. Gotta watch myself..... constantly
As a general rule, ANYTHING Ray Charles does can fall into this category. I was particularly taken with this performance at the Montreax Jazz Festival 1997. Elegantly staged with intricate yet understated orchestration and a lovely melody, Ray provides subtle keyboard accents throughout the song. The lead singer has both gentle AND intense soulful phrasing. She is the star here.
Not much else to say except enjoy the musical excellence... "In the Shadows of my Mind"
Not
funny as in “ha ha,” funny as in "this is strange!"
A
while ago I was helping a relative load a machine onto the bed of a
pickup truck. It seemed like a doable job for two men, no
problem. Let's just say we underestimated the task. After exerting
maximum effort we finally got it. Then that "funny" thing
happened.
I
was feeling all proud and relieved when my heart started racing, I
could not breathe, and I started getting dizzy. I found a place
to sit. About thirty seconds after sitting down a wave of nausea hit
me. I was certain chunks were going to be hurled. I stood and braced
myself on the side of the garage waiting for the inevitable. It never
came. After about three minutes, the nausea subsided, my breathing and
heartbeat stabilized, and I went on with my life.
-(spoiler
alert)- Doctor says I'm fine, so I still haven't made definitive funeral arrangements yet.
But
here's the thing, I momentarily sensed this might be my imminent death.
I'm
going to confess that for
a teensy tiny micro-split-second, I freaked out! What
stays with me about that experience was my internal dialogue at the peak of this episode:
"WTF??.
... THIS is how I'm gonna die?!?! ...WAIT!!!"
In retrospect, what a bizarre thought! First of all, why should death NOT come as a surprise? What makes me feel entitled to an heroic death rather than a mere plebeian demise? Why would I expect my last memory to be "I went out in a blaze of heroic glory" rather than "pity, I just over-exerted myself." My guess is I may be slightly conceited.
And most puzzling to this 99.95% atheist, when I yelled WAIT!!!, to whom or what was I yelling?
Sadly, when push came to shove, I
revealed myself as just another vain, self conscious, ego driven
human being like everyone else. Tsk, tsk.
When
I didn't lose consciousness, my “courage” started to reappear. I
recovered and passed it off as no big deal, nothing I couldn't
handle. But in the deep recesses of my mind there is now a gnawing
suspicion that I'm probably not going to live forever so I'd better
make some contingency plans.... just in case.
What
the hell is going to happen when I die? Has anyone ever thought of
that?
